3 Powerful Ways to Better Connect with Your Spouse

Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it can also be challenging. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been married for decades, maintaining a strong connection with your spouse requires intentional effort. After counseling couples for over three decades and being happily married for more than 28 years, I’ve observed that many couples struggle to maintain meaningful connections.

Here are three simple yet powerful ways to strengthen your bond with your spouse. These might seem basic, but when practiced consistently, they can transform your relationship.

How can I bring laughter back into my marriage?

The first way to better connect with your spouse is to learn how to laugh together again. Think back to when you were dating – there was likely plenty of joking, laughing, and giggling. As marriage progresses and life’s stresses accumulate, that laughter often fades.

Your spouse should be your best friend. After all, you made vows “till death do you part” and “in sickness and in health.” This commitment necessitates a deep friendship. When you have a best friend, one of the main things you do together is laugh – at inside jokes, shared experiences, and things others might not understand.

There should be camaraderie and common interests in your marriage, regardless of how different you were when you first met. This shared humor shouldn’t come at your partner’s expense but should stem from genuine connection.

Why is this important? Because:

Your children will eventually grow up and move away, leaving the two of you together
Even in multi-generational households, having your spouse as your best friend helps navigate crowded living situations
Laughter creates physical, emotional, and spiritual connectionsIt releases stress and tensionIt strengthens the fabric of your “two becoming one” bond

Find ways to laugh together – watch clean comedians, share funny stories, or reminisce about humorous moments from your past. A marriage without laughter is missing a vital component of intimacy.

Why should couples be physically active together?

The second way to connect with your spouse is to be active together. Many couples today live sedentary lives – sitting at work all day, then coming home to sit in front of screens all evening with minimal interaction or movement.

Even something as simple as a 30-minute walk after dinner can have profound benefits:

It aids digestion
It improves sleep quality
It enhances mood
It creates space for meaningful conversation
It improves cognitive function
It reduces stress and frustration

When you’re active together, your brain works better as blood flows more efficiently. This clarity helps you remember important topics that need discussion and process information more effectively. Unlike scrolling on phones, which weakens mental focus, physical activity strengthens your ability to connect.

This doesn’t have to be intense exercise. Consider:

Evening walks
Pickleball games
Hiking
Bike rides
Working out together
Gardening

The key is doing these activities together rather than separately. Many fitness enthusiasts work out alone as “me time,” but being active as a couple creates opportunities for connection that have far-reaching impacts on your relationship.

Can prayer really strengthen my marriage?

The third and perhaps most powerful way to connect with your spouse is through prayer. After 30 years in ministry and 28 years of marriage, I can confidently say that consistent prayer with your spouse creates an unbreakable bond.

My wife and I spend 5-10 minutes almost every morning praying together. I typically start by praying for our four children, church matters, and major decisions we’re facing. When couples pray together, something powerful happens in their relationship.

Find a time that works for your schedule:

Before work
Before bedtime
After dinner
During a weekend coffee ritual

It doesn’t matter if one person prays or both take turns. What matters is consistency. When you pray together day after day, year after year, you’ll witness God answering your prayers in remarkable ways.

Every marriage faces challenges that need prayer – family issues, workplace concerns, financial decisions, health matters. You probably won’t have time to pray about everything, but focusing on the most pressing needs creates a spiritual connection that transcends ordinary communication.

Life Application

Marriage doesn’t end with “I do.” It’s a continuous journey requiring intentional effort. Many people, especially men, make the mistake of thinking they’ve “conquered that hill” and move on to career or hobbies. But marriage requires ongoing work – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

We must cherish, love, support, and encourage our spouses, which is impossible if we’re disconnected from them. This week, I challenge you to implement these three simple practices:

Find something to laugh about together every day
Schedule at least three 30-minute walks or other physical activities together
Pray together for 5 minutes daily, even if it feels awkward at first

Ask yourself:

When was the last time my spouse and I genuinely laughed together?
How much active time do we spend together versus passive time (like watching TV)?
What would happen if we committed to praying together for one month straight?

These simple practices, when applied consistently, can transform your marriage from a relationship of convenience to one of deep connection. Your spouse deserves your best effort, and so does your marriage.