Reading a great book by Gordon McDonald and he outlines four dangerous dads. These are the kind of dads that can wreak havoc in the home. Look at these four examples and see if you fall into any of these categories:
- The Dishonest Dad: This is the dad that doesn’t follow through on his requests. He tells his children to wash their hands, brush their teeth, pick up their room but rarely follows through on his orders. So his orders really become wants instead of needs and soon the kids stop paying attention. They know there won’t be any follow up on the request so they ignore it. The father doesn’t mean what he says.
- The Threatening Dad: This father thinks he is giving directions but is really giving choices. They say “If you don’t turn off the TV and get to your homework done I am going to take away your TV.” The directions are usually preface with “Ifs”. The dad looks it as a directive with consequences but the child looks at it like an alternative. Soon the child will be deciding if it is better to take the consequences to keep doing what he wants to do.
- The Explosive Dad: This one is obvious. This dad just blows all the time. He spews words ever where. He has been incovenienced, embarassed, or feels defeated and retaliates by exploding. Children just learn to weather the storm and they usually get what they want.
- The Silent Dad: This is the saddest kind of dad. These are usually people who excel at what they do. They are great with other people or at their jobs getting along with everyone but once they get home they are to exhausted to give anything there. They slump onto the couch and say nothing. They don’t want to interact or deal with anyone at home because they have left it all at the office. They defer to the wife for everything as a way not to deal. The children grow up with the thought that their dad has no interest in them and doesn’t care.
Tomorrow we will look at the effective dad. One who pays the price and sets the tempo and mood for the whole house.